hahahahaha, gee God, that was a good one.

So God, apparently, likes to play jokes on people. He likes to dangle things in front of people's faces then snatch 'em up and take 'em away! How fun.

Getting to the chase, I didnt get that big girl job. Am I disappointed? Why yes, yes I am. In fact, I'm pretty bummed. Watching my savings decrease every month because of rent, or loans, or groceries is like watching my hopes wash away in a flood. As much as I reach out to try and grab them, they are just out of reach then finally they are just gone. So yeah, it's a little depressing.

BUT

I'm still applying for jobs. I'm not giving up, but I'm definitely stressed about finances, moving back home (which will mean all my friends and family will have a funeral to attend within two months of that move because I will inevitably kill myself), and losing the self that I've created in my short adult, semi-independent life.

Plain and simple, I am scared.

There. I said it. It's out there...